Always Kiss Goodnight: A Story for Valentine's Day

/
Kanter+irene-and-marvin--1949.jpg

Marvin and Irene Kanter’s love story is one of my favorites. I came across it 10 years ago while searching for local WWII vets my sisters and I could invite to the first function we ever decided to host. It was to be a grand dinner at a classic car museum in San Marcos with special guest, Maurice Renaud son of the wartime mayor of Sainte-Mere-Eglise, France.

I somehow managed to find Marvin’s address and sent him an invitation with an extra note saying I hoped he’d attend (his movie star looks might have encouraged us just a bit to reach out). Happily to our surprise they accepted. The couple was everything and more. Marvin was even better looking and more charming in person, and Irene was absolutely fabulous with a side of spunk. She had been the one to propose to Marving back in 1947, and time had not dimmed that quality.

"If you see a good looking man in a black sports coat, watch out. He is Navy all the way." - Irene Kanter declaring to an Army veteran

Irene passed away shortly after that dinner, but Marvin stuck around for a few more years. Their love story never gets old. Sweet and simple. Long lasting. No doubt they put the work in to make it so.

I sometimes wondered if the movie Anchors Away written based off of their meeting.

Yours to decide.

Always Kiss Goodnight

Helen Anders American-Statesman Thursday, Feb. 21, 2013 

Mr. Kanter at our 2014 Veterans Dinner.

It was Halloween night 1944, and a new student at the University of Texas, Irene Wolfson, had a date to a Longhorns football game. Told a blue norther was coming in, but not knowing quite what that was because she’d just arrived from Florida, Irene dressed smartly in a one-button suit with a yellow angora sweater.

“I go out to get in the car,” Irene recalls, “and driving is this sailor with coal-black hair and a fantastic smile.” That, however, was not Irene’s date, although her date was also in the car. The sailor, Marvin Kanter, on shore leave from the Navy, had a date of his own. Still, during the evening when it became clear that Irene had under-dressed for the norther, he lent her his pea coat. The next day, Marvin left to catch a ship out of San Francisco.

“All the way to California, I was picking yellow angora off my pea coat,” he says. His memory of Irene stuck with him just like the angora, and when he was back in Austin — two years later, after World War II had ended — he tracked her down for a date. Then he went home to Missouri and she to Florida, but they corresponded. Irene’s mother saw his picture in her daughter’s room and instantly disapproved.

“He has a weak chin,” she tsked. Undeterred, Irene proposed to Marvin when they got together one weekend in 1947.

“What are your future plans?” Marvin asked Irene, who quickly answered: “I plan to marry you and settle down.” In 1949, they did just that, opting to move to Austin, where Irene quickly landed a job with a fabric store and Marvin worked for a pharmaceuticals wholesaler.

“I don’t think anyone expected the marriage to last,” Irene muses. But here they are, 64 years later. Irene wound up teaching school, then becoming an administrator, serving as assistant principal of Anderson High School for 20 years. Marvin took a job with the Texas Railroad Commission and spent 34 years of weekends officiating at football games, many of them attended by Irene and their daughter, Shelly.

“Remember that time we put hotdog wrappers on our feet to keep warm?” Shelly remembers, and both her parents laugh.

Mr. and Mrs. Kanter at our 2014 Veterans Dinner.

Mr. and Mrs. Kanter at our 2014 Veterans Dinner.

Now retired, Marvin and Irene take a swim in their pool at exactly 4 p.m. every day (unless it’s too cold) and follow that up with a 5 p.m. cocktail hour. They may be out of the business world, but they’re far from idle. They work from time to time as extras in movies shooting in Austin — in fact, they enjoyed a decent amount of screen time behind Sandra Bullock in a restaurant scene in “Miss Congeniality” — and they travel relentlessly, heading out for a tour of interior Alaska just four weeks after Irene had hip surgery. Talking about all this, they grin at each other like newlyweds.

“We have a lot of fun together,” Irene says.

“We laugh a lot, and we try to stay young,” Marvin says. “And whether the day has gone smooth or rough, at the end of the day, we kiss each other.”

“Sometimes it’s hard when you’ve had a fuss,” Irene says, “but we do.”

http://www.statesman.com/lifestyles/always-kiss-good-night/3rPiyfI7ktv4v9tooYr2RN/

Old Folks + The Sea Captain

/

Norman Rockwell

I’ve always had an absurd habit of taking notes about everything on anything - receipts, gum wrappers, banquet tickets, and used index cards. My phone is filled with random letters and notes, oftentimes voice texted rapidly at redlights on the drive home from an old timer's breakfast, a hospital visit, or a house check in. Usually written train of thought. Little things I want to remember.

These notes catalogue the ordinary days with my vets. The ones that don’t make it on “the gram” because they are too precious or just too - ordinary. But then I remember that this is how it all started, the driving force behind Operation Meatball. More than just a record of war, but a desire to give my future children and descendants a glimmer into what it was like to grow up surrounded by the last veterans of WWII: the charm, the humor, the idiosyncrasies… the ups and the downs. The beautiful moments and the sad ones. The phone calls, letters, and even text messages. What does a friendship look like between a 17-year-old girl and a 95-year-old man? One just beginning to experience life, the other in the twilight of his years - a few moments left before sunset.

There’s an old song from the 1930s called “Old Folks.” It’s the tale of one of the last Civil War vets. 

“Everyone knows him as old folks

Like the seasons he comes and he'll go

Just as free as a bird and as good as his word

That's why everybody loves him so.

Always leaving his spoon in his coffee

Tucks his napkin up under his chin

And his own corn cob pipe is so mellow, hits right

But you needn't be ashamed of him”

The song (look it up: Bea Wain “Old Folks”) is delightful and gives a peak into the crossover of the antebellum and pre World War era. It was actually introduced to me by a WWII vet who had heard it as a little boy and had come to the realization that he was now “Old Folks.”

One of the last civil war veterans

Next year, Operation Meatball will be turning 10 years old. In the spirit of this, I want to start sharing some of these little memories and nuggets. I’ll warn you - they are scribbles… but they tell a little of the story of my Old Folks. And they are some of my favorite memories.

The Sea Captain

Norman Rockwell

Last year one of my OG vets passed away. RW was a fascinating old sea captain who had taken a cold call from 17-year-old me, inviting him to the first event my sisters and I ever hosted.

I was nervous. Very nervous.

But he very sweetly calmed me down. “Honey,” he said in a raspy voice “Take a few breaths while I go get a pen and paper.” He listened to my pitch about why he needed to come to my party and accepted. We were steady friends after that.

He was brilliant. Always reading, always improving his mind. Before his health failed, he was reading Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire for the 3rd time. The Sea Captain also gave me some of the best life advice I ever received, “Liberty, the most important word you need to learn is ‘No.’”

In the last few weeks of his life as he valiantly fought hospice (trying to make it to 100) I would go out to visit him as regularly as I could. My poor attempts to cheer him turned into a form of therapy, and I always left feeling refreshed and renewed. A parting gift from The Sea Captain. 

Here are a few notes from one of my visits… a couple of weeks before he passed away.

Scribbled notes from 2022:

“The Sea Captain is sitting in his chair. Wrapped up in blankets. He hasn’t eaten hardly at all. He’s frustrated because he’s an active man. His whole life he’s been active. And now he feels weak and unable. I sit and chat with him for a few minutes. I remind him we’re supposed to talk about Lord Nelson and his lady friend. My note regarding this from last visit is still on his desk. “Talk to Liberty about Lord Nelson next visit.”

After I’m there for a few minutes he starts to tell me about Lord Nelson. Initially he says he’s too tired… But the storyteller in him can’t resist the opportunity. His stories are interrupted by WW2 Marine and Peleliu survivor, Mac and his wife Maggie. Maggie is impeccably dressed. Floral shirt, blue blouse, denim jeans rolled up and cuffed at the bottom. Her hair is perfectly coiffed. Mac looks good himself in gray joggers. They are a charming couple, married 76 years. They sit down and try to talk with the Sea Captain for a while but it’s a little bit chaotic. No one can hear anything. All the old people are deaf. But they sit and chat. Go over the ailments. Talk about breakfast. Before they leave, Maggie offers to make anything for The Sea Captain to eat (rumor has it she’s a spectacular cook).

I sit and talked with The Sea Captain a little bit longer. Hardly has Mac and Maggie left and he picks up the story exactly where it was interrupted. He finishes the story… Discussing the life of love of Lord Nelson and the triangle relationship he had. He’s tired. I offered to read to him. I list off of number of books in his library. Most of them he’s ready many times over - like 1776 by David McCullough.

We settle on Gulliver‘s travels. He adjusts himself and closes his eyes. I read several pages out of Gulliver‘s travels. Periodically The Sea Captain readjusts himself. His hands are cold so he puts them under the blanket. Then he gets warm and he takes him out. He stretches his legs. He’s stiff. I offered to rub his foot for him. It’s itchy. And stiff. I tell him my dad used to exchange foot rubs for cartoons. I rub his feet for a few minutes. I keep reading Gulliver’s travels. He goes in and out of dozing… But I know he hears it.

Finally, I have to get up and go. I tell him I’ll come back. I watch him drink a little bit more of the shake. I gave him a big kiss on the forehead. He brightens up and squeezes my hand. He tells me he’s looking forward to me coming back tomorrow.

As the days got shorter for the Sea Captain, it became harder for him to move to his library (which, by the way was fitted out in proper nautical style), so some mornings I’d just sit at the end of his bed and read him papers, show him old war time postcards, or help him put his socks and shoes on -even if he wasn’t going anywhere. A common element I’ve witnessed at the deathbeds of so many of my beautiful seniors is the desire to maintain one’s dignity as long as they are cognitive. Sometimes this means something as simple as combing the hair.

I remember the day my Marine Fred died, his niece and I (unaware it was the final day), decided that after two and a half weeks at the VA it was time to give him a shave. I’d never seen him with scruff before that time. Fred wasn’t able to communicate much, but his face expressed appreciation.

March 4, 2022
I popped in to see The Sea Captain for a few minutes before going to work. Timing was good… I helped him put his socks on and his shoes on. I really treasure little things like this. It makes you feel good to help out someone who can’t help themself. And I feel like they’re small decencies. I remember Colonel Skardon (A Bataan Death March Survivor) talking about his friends who would rub his feet for hours to help with the pain when he was in the hospital. Small decencies.

I sit at the end of his bed and we talk. I throw the ball for the dog. The dogs run around like crazy animals… One ball goes too far and the dog takes out a fake plant. He laughs. We talk a little bit about Bill Mauldin‘s cartoons… The whimsy of Willy and Joe. Then we just talk about stuff in general. Finally, I have to go. I hate to say goodbye… Situations like this I never know if it’s the last. But I tell him I’ll be back. I have a marathon this weekend… But after that I will be home. And I’ll come see him. He says, “thank you. No really… Thank you so much.”

I give him a kiss on the forehead and tell him I’ll be back soon. I say maybe I’ll bring so-and-so. He’s a good egg. RW says, “as opposed to rotten egg?” I say, Yes, we throw the rotten eggs out.”

Perhaps these notes and recollections seem mundane. A lot of life is mundane. I like mundane. It causes you to sit ad be still. Enjoy. Breathe. Take a few moments to see life through the eyes of someone who has already lived so much of it.

The day the Sea Captain died

The Sea Captain went home to be with his Christ and his beloved wife today. He missed his wife of 71 years so much. When I was talking with him yesterday, he kept staring ahead and saying, "Liberty, Isn't she so beautiful. She's the most beautiful woman I've ever seen.” At first I thought he meant the watercolor painting on the wall. But then I remembered his eyesight was almost completely gone. He was blind. It was then I knew then he was going home soon - to be with his “great lady.” So much - but so little is known about the passing of life. We hear "rumors". But we'll never know till it's our turn. Still - little moments like this make death beautiful. Almost like God sends his emissary to walk the last few steps of life, fear free.

I miss my intellectual chats with the Sea Captain… discussing all things Ceasar, the Gallic Wars, George Washington’s particular sense of humor and the pros and cons of one crossing the Rubicon. We had fun, but I was definitely left with a lot of homework. The Sea Captain gave me a list of books to read, including Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire. “Take your time. It’s a difficult book. I don’t normally like audiobooks, but Decline might be a good one to listen to,” he says. I have a painting hanging on my wall of Lord Nelson’s ship, “The Victory.” It reminds me of him.

I’ll leave you with one of my favorite things the Sea Captain told me: At one of the last old timers breakfasts he made it to, he got into a debate with a retired Army General. The Army was advocating getting rid of scoring in a particular field of competition. “Too much pressure. People shouldn’t be forced to get the highest scores,” was the opinion.

Despite being 99.5 years old and not feeling par to the course for some time, this line of reasoning fired the Sea Captain up. “Why not?!” He rebutted with energy. “Why shouldn’t we try to be the best. Doesn’t matter if we can’t be, but we should at least try.”

And I agree.

"I must go down to the seas again, to the lonely sea and the sky,
And all I ask is a tall ship and a star to steer her by;
And the wheel’s kick and the wind’s song and the white sail’s shaking,
And a grey mist on the sea’s face, and a grey dawn breaking."

John Masefield

O P E R A T I O N M E A T B A L L

Honoring Veterans & Connecting Them With the Youth of Today

A Special Sort of Crusty

/

Hanging out in the airport with Mr. bordeaux (centre) and his lifelong friend, wayne pricer.

“I’m going to push your wheelchair through the museum for you, Mr. B.” I announced.

“No, no, no, honey.” He protested. “You don’t need to do that.” 

“I’m happy to!” I exclaimed.

“No really. I’ll just be fine here.” He settled himself for the wait.

My friend’s response was typical. He was independent and would be the last person in the world to put someone out. 

We were both a part of a large group of WWII veterans and guardians who had traveled from Fort Worth, Texas to New Orleans, Louisiana to visit the National WWII Museum. It was most of the vets' first time, and after a swell evening the night before being serenaded by the trio at BB's Stage Door Canteen, everyone was excited to tour the museum for the day. 

just a "few" of the ww2s on our trip!

Unfortunately, stepping off an elevator the day before, Mr. B. had collided with one of the other vets and didn’t quite feel up to a strenuous day of walking. True to form, he would rather have spoiled his trip than have to depend upon someone else. 

But I was prepared for this. 

I walked around to the front of his wheelchair, “Mr. Bordeaux, do you seriously think you came all the way from Texas to New Orleans just to sit in a chair in the front of the museum all day?? I think not!!”

He attempted one last pathetic protest and then realized it was pointless. “Oh, okay.” He smiled. He was won over. 

Everyone you meet has a different impact on you. And what you take away from one friendship may be completely different from the next person.

I didn’t know Mr. Bordeaux as long as some folks, but I like to think that over the several years of our friendship, I was able to see a different side of Mr. B. than the one he regularly presented.

For those who didn’t know him so well, one might have put Richard Bordeaux down as a possibly cute old man, always good for a laugh, with a somewhat impossible amount of orneriness left over from years of being on his own.

In a way, that is true. Each extended trip to the hospital proved he was too tough to be overcome. And it’s true, his self deprecating jokes could be really cute ...

“How are you doing, Mr. B.?” 
“Fine… They said I need a lobotomy, but I doubt they’ll be able to find anything there.”

… But I also saw a side to him that (along with his adorable crustiness) was interesting and even brilliant. I would like to share that with you here - the Mr. Bordeaux I knew.

Until he got too sick, we would talk regularly on the phone. Oh the miles of conversation we would cover. Sometimes we’d compare notes on our Civil War relatives. His insight into a war, so far in our past, but still so hotly disputed, was clear headed, honest, and intelligent. Over the election year, his political commentary, though far from PC (Mr. Bordeaux and "politically correct" were just two things that never went together), was again very insightful and oftentimes hilarious.

His retention of information and knowledge on many, many subjects continually impressed me. 

One day, I was talking on the phone with him. 

“Mr. Bordeaux!” I exclaimed. “I finally got to see the Grand Canyon!” 

“Just a minute honey,” he said in his raspy Texas drawl. “Let me turn the TV down.”

He had one of my favorite smiles!

I smiled and waited on the other end of the phone. He refused to wear hearing aids, despite having lost most of his hearing as a Navy Gunner during the war.

“Now what was that?” He said picking up the phone again. 

“I finally got to see the Grand Canyon!” 

“Oh now, that’s fine. That’s just wonderful, honey,” he replied, “Did you get to see…” And he listed off a couple of places. We kept chatting about it, and he told me about the history and geology of the canyon. His descriptions were breathtaking. 

“I should be taking notes for next time,” I laughed. "When was the last time you went??”

“I’ve never been,” he said. “I’ve just read about it.”

“Well, if you ever decide you need a job,” I told him, “you should apply as a tour guide of the Canyon!”

He chuckled a bit.

A few years ago, I had told him about my brother hiking the Pacific Crest Trail. Had he heard of that before? Most certainly!! And he proceeded to tell me about this famous 2600 mile hiking trail. “How did you know about it?” I had to ask, amazed (I’d never heard of it before my brother announced to the family his intentions of making the hike). “Oh, reading somewhere,” was his reply.

The following year, I told him my brother was commercial fishing in Alaska. 

“Alaska!” He said, getting excited. “That’s one place I have wanted to visit my entire life.”

“Really?” I said. “Tell me about it. Why?” 

And he did. For the next ten or fifteen minutes, he went on to tell me about the gloriousness of “The Last Frontier.”

Again I asked in amazement, “Where did you learn all this? No! Don’t tell me…” I knew where this was going.

“I’ve read about it, watched a lot of documentaries… you know. Not much.”

“Goodness, Mr. Bordeaux!” I chuckled on the other end of the phone. Would there ever be a subject he didn’t know anything about?

Pushing my crusty sailor around the National WWII Museum that day, I saw yet another side to this interesting individual. 

“Where do you want to go?” I asked. 

“I don’t care. Wherever you want.” 

“Let’s go through the Normandy exhibit then. I know you were in the Pacific, so it might be interesting for you to see the other side.” 

I wheeled him through the many exhibits, chatting a bit, reading some of the displays, asking questions about the Navy crafts, and watching him in those moments where he was thoughtfully silent. 

explaining how the landing crafts work.

explaining how the landing crafts work.

We finally arrived at the Invasion of D-Day when he suddenly blurted out, “I lost my two best friends on D-Day.” I stopped. He had never talked about this before. 

Coming to the side of his chair, I knelt down, “Oh, I’m so sorry, Mr. Bordeaux. You were close with them?”

“One of them lived next door to me. The other one was a few miles away, but we were always together. When he died, his mother moved to the house next door. Her younger son had been killed by a street trolley, and it was just too much for her to lose another son. She never got over it.” 

As he reflected on these things, his eyes became moist, his raspy voice grew a little more raw. “I haven’t thought about them in over 30 years.” His voice trailed.

“Thank you for telling me.” I said taking his hand, trying not to tear up myself. This was one of those moments I knew I’d never forget.  

Last Memorial Day I was able to get him a photo of his two friends' graves. You can read more about it here

 - - - - 

But if I thought that was the last emotional moment of the day, I was wrong. 

During our tour of the Warbirds exhibit, we ran into an old friend of mine, Lt. Colonel Art Arceneaux, a Marine Air Corps Ace during the war.

The meeting of my two friends was another moment I will never forget. 

After the usual, “Where were you?” they realized they had both been in the same general area during the Battle of Okinawa. Except Col. Arceneaux was fighting the Kamikazes from the air, and Mr. Bordeaux was fighting them from the guns of his ship. 

"Remember how the Kamikazes swarmed at us like flies to honey?" said Mr. B. ”I admired you guys in the planes. I wouldn't have traded places.” 

“I felt sorry for you guys on the ships," responded the Colonel in his soft Cajun accent. ”I didn't want to be in your position." 

So handsome! He never lost the smile.

I stood there in awe listening to them swap battle stories. I knew Mr. Bordeaux had served in the Pacific and had experienced things he’d rather forget. But he didn’t talk about it much, even when I pushed him. Okinawa was his one big battle. Compared to other WW2 guys, his combat experience was limited. But who’s counting the battles? I’ve seen sometimes that the vets who were only in the rough for a short time didn’t have the chance to become battle hardened, and they are left raw with lasting memories that cannot be shaken for anything. 

A few hours earlier our group had watched the Museum’s 4D short documentary, “Beyond All Boundaries.” Despite being in good spirits before the show, when the kamikaze attacks came on the screen, Mr. B. couldn’t handle it. “Make it stop, make it stop.” He cried out. “Do you need me to take you out?” I asked. “No… No. I’m fine.” He said. But soon the sounds, the vibrations, and the visual imagery intensified. My hand was on the elbow of his chair. He grabbed it and held on. Tight. My eyes became a bit dewey.  

After the film, Mr. B. told me how he had watched a nearby ship go down in flames. The crew members jumped into the ocean on fire. There was nothing he could do but watch. 89-years old at that time, and that image haunted him still. 

Pulled back to the moment, I looked at Mr. Bordeaux and Mr. Arceneaux chatting away. These men had never crossed paths during the war, but yet they had fought side by side. 70+ years later, here they were swapping war stories. I was a merely a fly on the wall.

a special meeting between war veterans: dick bordeaux and Lt. colonel Art arceneaux.

Saying our goodbyes, both vets thanked the other for their protection during the battle. They would never meet again, but they would forever be friends.

I was grateful for this meeting with Colonel Arceneaux, for Mr. Bordeaux’s sake. There is something intangible to the looker-on, and so meaningful to the veteran that comes out of a conversation with someone “who was there.”

Over lunch in the American Sector Restaurant, we talked about the day and the museum. So much to take in and process. We talked about his family, goofy stories from the Navy, growing up, events that had hurt him as a child and ended up shaping his life.

In many ways, his story was similar to another friend of mine. Both of them had grown up in the school of extra hard knocks. Both their fathers had left home at an early age, and they were forced to raise themselves without that important figure in their life. “A boy needs his dad,” Mr. B. told me. “But I didn’t have mine.” 

lunch date at the museum!

The difference in my two friends came when one took the path of indifference to hardships and a perspective that life would not be allowed to run him down. Mr. B. did not choose that path. There were many things in his life he wanted to be or could have done… He knew that. But sometimes life just hit him too hard to get around it.

Having the two examples of my friends, such similar lives with such opposite outcomes, I was struck by the fact that here I had an opportunity to see into the future. Life throws an awful lotta curveballs at us, and how we respond to them may change the course of the rest of our life. Through the example of my other friend, I saw the blessings of what it would look like at 90+, having taken the high road of positivity at age 20. And for Mr. B., sadly, I saw the outcome of having taken the road of frustration and discouragement. It’s a hard lesson. 

But for all the somber moments of the day, Mr. Bordeaux still had his wonderful sense of humor. After we pushed the serious life matters out of the way, he was back to his old jokes and humor, including cracking a comment that made me hide my face behind the menu and caused the next table to look up in surprise. Yup, Mr. B. always had something tucked up his sleeve ready to pull out when you least expected. 

“Here, have my fries,” he said.

- - - -

When we landed back in Fort Worth, I looked to say goodbye to Mr. B. But he’d already gone. Calling him up the next day, I pretended to be mad, “Mr. Bordeaux, what did you mean by running off yesterday without a goodbye? After all I did pushing you around the WWII Museum!”

“Oh honey,” he said, “I’m sorry. I just hate goodbyes.”

I get that.

The story of our visit to the WWII Museum is just an excerpt from all the stories I have to tell from dear Mr. Bordeaux. An excerpt though it is, it nevertheless remains one of my favorite experiences with a WW2 veteran since starting Operation Meatball.

one of our impromptu visits after an event in fort worth. 

Yet, WW2 veteran though he was, my family’s friendship with him grew to be more than that. He became a regular fixture in our visits to Fort Worth and a treasured friend. Over the years, we accumulated many hilarious anecdotes from our time with him.

The first time Mother met Mr. Bordeaux, he asked her bluntly, “Why are you wearing BLUE toe polish?”

Sometimes I’d call him up and say, “I’m in town. Can I come over for a chat?” Forever worried that he would put us out, or embarrassed that his little flat wasn’t clean, he’d make some excuse. That is when I had to learn to say, “I’m in town. I’m coming over in 30 minutes.” Of course, he was happy about it, and we would talk for hours… “Come back soon.” He’d say. 

One afternoon, when he didn’t show up to a luncheon where he was a regular, I called him. “Where are you??”

"a quick hi and a hug"

“I’ve been waiting for the mechanic. My car has issues, and they were supposed to be here at 10am.”

“But it’s 2 o’clock!?” I said. 

“I know.”

“Can Faith and I come by and give you a quick hug?”

“Well now, honey, you don’t have to… But you can if you want.”

He was out by his car when Faith and I got there. Our “quick hi and hug” turned into a lengthy discussion on how to solve world problems (sailor style) and the best way to sleep during a Typhoon in the Pacific (educating!). Periodically, one of the folks living in his apartment complex would walk by with a trash bag for the dumpster, staring (not-so-politely) at the little party gathered around his old truck, chatting and laughing in the (Texas style) freezing weather.

Another time, it was his turn to remonstrate when I was out of town for a while and hadn’t called.

“I’ve been looking for you!” He said in his North Texas manner. “But I didn’t find you in any of the local pool halls or bars.”

I died laughing. “Goodness. Mr. Bordeaux. You must have been looking in the wrong pool halls then.” What else could I say?

jubilee and mr. bordeaux at the National wwii museum.

Surer than the sun setting, I could always count on Mr. B. to end his phone calls with, “Now you be safe, honey. And stay off the streets.” 

This last part always baffled me. “Why would I be on the streets??”

"Now, now, you just never know. Be safe now.” He would always answer.

“Well, all right then. I’ll try.” I would tell him.

ice-cream, okinawa, and architecture 

Another time, we were out for ice cream and ended up discussing Frank Lloyd Wright and Architecture (a passion of his) until the ice cream ran out. That was after someone had come up to thank him for his service, only to not be heard (remember, he was too independent to wear hearing aids). The fellow was a little awkward not knowing what to do… “It’s okay.” We told him, “He can’t hear you, try again.” We tugged Mr. Bordeaux’s sleeve, “Someone’s trying to talk to you.” I still don’t know if he ever heard what the guy was saying…

20170630_103217.jpg

On birthdays, I’d always call him a day or two after. Why? Because of this conversation: 

“Hey, Mr. Bordeaux! Your birthday is coming up soon!”

“I don’t believe in birthdays. Anyways, life goes downhill after 21.”

“But I’ll be 21 in a couple of years!”

“Well, then… you know.”

“I’m going to send you a card on your birthday.”

“Now, now, now… don’t go doing that.”

“And I’m going to call you.”

“Now, now… Listen here, young lady, I told you I don’t believe in birthdays or holidays. They aren’t for me.”

Two days after his birthday: “Mr. Bordeaux! Happy birthday. You said not to call you on your birthday… and I’m not!”

- - - -

I wasn’t able to say “goodbye” to Mr. B. before he passed. I wondered if I would. But I never got the chance. However, thinking back to that conversation on the phone when he told me, “Oh honey, I’m sorry. I just hate goodbyes,” it’s probably okay. He hated goodbyes… and really, I do too. Anyway, he’ll always be my sailor who was a special sort of crusty.

Support Operation Meatball

Always Kiss Goodnight: A Story for Valentine's Day

/
Kanter+irene-and-marvin--1949.jpg

With Valentine's Day coming up, I thought I'd share a sweet story with you.

The article below was written by the American-Statesman a few years ago about a simply darling couple, the Kanters. When I first read this article, I knew I must make their acquaintance, so I invited them to our first WWII Veterans Dinner in 2014. Very happily for us, they accepted the invitation, and the girls and I immediately fell in love with the both of them. Mr. Kanter was completely charming (and very handsome!) and Mrs. Kanter was fabulously spunky. Walking up to an Army veteran at our dinner she declared, "If you see a good looking man in a black sports coat, watch out. He is Navy all the way." When the veteran made a comment about the Army's superiority, she deftly defended her husband and the Navy. Sadly, Mrs. Kanter passed away not too long after the dinner. To know her was an absolute delight. 

With that brief background, here is the article:

Mr. Kanter at our 2014 Veterans Dinner.

Always Kiss Goodnight

Helen Anders

American-Statesman Thursday, Feb. 21, 2013 

It was Halloween night 1944, and a new student at the University of Texas, Irene Wolfson, had a date to a Longhorns football game. Told a blue norther was coming in, but not knowing quite what that was because she’d just arrived from Florida, Irene dressed smartly in a one-button suit with a yellow angora sweater.

“I go out to get in the car,” Irene recalls, “and driving is this sailor with coal-black hair and a fantastic smile.” That, however, was not Irene’s date, although her date was also in the car. The sailor, Marvin Kanter, on shore leave from the Navy, had a date of his own. Still, during the evening when it became clear that Irene had under-dressed for the norther, he lent her his pea coat. The next day, Marvin left to catch a ship out of San Francisco.

“All the way to California, I was picking yellow angora off my pea coat,” he says. His memory of Irene stuck with him just like the angora, and when he was back in Austin — two years later, after World War II had ended — he tracked her down for a date. Then he went home to Missouri and she to Florida, but they corresponded. Irene’s mother saw his picture in her daughter’s room and instantly disapproved.

“He has a weak chin,” she tsked. Undeterred, Irene proposed to Marvin when they got together one weekend in 1947.

“What are your future plans?” Marvin asked Irene, who quickly answered: “I plan to marry you and settle down.” In 1949, they did just that, opting to move to Austin, where Irene quickly landed a job with a fabric store and Marvin worked for a pharmaceuticals wholesaler.

“I don’t think anyone expected the marriage to last,” Irene muses. But here they are, 64 years later. Irene wound up teaching school, then becoming an administrator, serving as assistant principal of Anderson High School for 20 years. Marvin took a job with the Texas Railroad Commission and spent 34 years of weekends officiating at football games, many of them attended by Irene and their daughter, Shelly.

“Remember that time we put hotdog wrappers on our feet to keep warm?” Shelly remembers, and both her parents laugh.

Mr. and Mrs. Kanter at our 2014 Veterans Dinner.

Mr. and Mrs. Kanter at our 2014 Veterans Dinner.

Now retired, Marvin and Irene take a swim in their pool at exactly 4 p.m. every day (unless it’s too cold) and follow that up with a 5 p.m. cocktail hour. They may be out of the business world, but they’re far from idle. They work from time to time as extras in movies shooting in Austin — in fact, they enjoyed a decent amount of screen time behind Sandra Bullock in a restaurant scene in “Miss Congeniality” — and they travel relentlessly, heading out for a tour of interior Alaska just four weeks after Irene had hip surgery. Talking about all this, they grin at each other like newlyweds.

“We have a lot of fun together,” Irene says.

“We laugh a lot, and we try to stay young,” Marvin says. “And whether the day has gone smooth or rough, at the end of the day, we kiss each other.”

“Sometimes it’s hard when you’ve had a fuss,” Irene says, “but we do.”

http://www.statesman.com/lifestyles/always-kiss-good-night/3rPiyfI7ktv4v9tooYr2RN/